Once again I have come to a revelation.
With challenges that keep springing up in this past year, and obstacles and triumphs I have been stressing out a lot on deadlines and story lines.
I decided that I have to take things one at a time and stop trying to save the world in one swoop.
As I came to that decision and stuck to that, the most amazing thing began to unfold. My path has opened up and I can see before me where fog once clouded my view. I no longer worry about what, who, when and how, I just do what I can do and thus have killed my own monster!
What a relief!
I have gained a renewed excitement and insight to the direction of the novel that was put to the wayside when my father became ill.
I have hammered out the design of the projects that I am working on and given myself a second wind.
Things have been harder than I imagined, but I think I have found the cheat codes to this game and will run full speed until I have to stop and regroup once again.
We fall to learn how to get back up…and the only thing that can stop that are our own tortured minds. I personally would rather use my tortured mind as my muse and make that sucker work!
I have been MIA for the last few months. I have felt lost and wandered far and wide in the chaos that is life. After finding out my father was ill late last year, my only mission was to have my children and myself spend every possible moment with him. That included a lot of hours in a car and a lot of mileage back and forth every weekend, but we were able to get the most precious times out of the few months he gave us.
I am sad still, and will always be. He was the rock, and I still find myself reaching for the phone to ask him questions about this and that. The adjustment has been difficult for us all.
But in happier news, I married the most amazing man that is in existence as well in this hiatus from writing and blogging. All the excitement of that kept us quite wrapped up in our family as well. So much has been a whirlwind, that I have thought about writing, and have come up with some very good ideas for both short stories and for scenes within Certain Madness, but until the last couple weeks have not actually sat down to do so.
I did make my deadline for my latest submission, and I am so happy that I was able to keep that in mind during all of this personal stuff. I know I would have regretted missing the opportunity had I not gotten that done and submitted. Now that I have broken the seal again, and kick started the madness that consumes me when I write there’s no stopping me. My family has learned to deal with the crazy lady who talks out scenes to herself and spaces out during dinner, only to leave the table running to write down an idea before it disappears.
I love that I have so much support from my family and friends. I will now finally focus on finishing Certain Madness before anything else…unless an opportunity for a short pushes down the wall of my resolve and forces my fingers to fly off in another direction. (It has been known to happen.
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As I have been working extra hours leading up to the holidays, I haven’t been able to keep up as I would like to with blogging or writing. I had scribbled a note to do a blog about changes, and at the time of the scribbling I had something totally unique and profound to say about the topic.
Now, as I have a moment to sit down and put words to screen, I find the eloquent words highly elusive. I do know that I have been knocked off my goal wagon as little things like responsibility and such have wriggled more into the equation. That is totally alright I have come to realize.
So I didn’t get Certain Madness completely submission ready before the end of the year. Does that mean that the entire project is done for?? I think not! So it will take a bit longer since I had to put priority elsewhere. Who cares?
I didn’t anticipate the changes that took my time from finishing the novel. That too is ok. Crap happens. We either roll with it or we let it bring us down. Personally I’d rather roll with it, take a shower and keep on trucking 🙂
Changes happen every second all around us. It shapes us and makes new possibilities. Maybe because I took some time AWAY from the novel, it will turn out better since now I have a fresh approach! Never fear changes. Come what may.
For 2013, I anticipate much more hard work and as a result much more reward.
Happy New Year everybody!
There is something to be said for authors. We are all a little mad sometimes. We live numerous lives at any given moment, are constantly distracted, are generally out of touch with reality, and most of the time talking to ourselves.
Why, you ask?
We do it for you! And for ourselves-I can’t lie.
I have become lost in the myriad of short stories, novels I am reading, novels I am writing, submissions, deadlines, facebook, twitter, wordpress, websites, work, children, love, meals, groceries, shopping lists…..I think you get the gist of the list now.
But really, what would my life be if I didn’t have all of this?
Dull, boring, and probably my house would be a little cleaner. Ok, who am I kidding about the house lol.
While my head has been spinning like the exorcist and I have been adjusting constantly to keep up with the flow of never ending duties and ideas, I have to admit I am happy as a clam. My element is writing these stories that I have floating around in my head. And all the madness that goes with them is fully embraced.
The hell you say!?
I was asked by an interviewer, “So, what do you write when it’s not Halloween season?”
Was this person kidding?? I hope so!
What do I write when it’s not Halloween? Hmm, well, let’s see. I write Horror. I write Urban Fantasy. I write Paranormal fiction…. I suppose I could float between genres but what would be the point? I write what I love.
I think there is a stereotype, that women can’t be horror authors. I have proven that wrong. Being a published horror author gives me the ground to stand on.
So what do I write when it isn’t Halloween season? Well, I am working hard on finishing this novel. Certain Madness is aptly named as it is driving me absolutely batty trying to mold this ending correctly.
I know how this ends. My problem is trying to tie all the ends together in an appropriate manner. As I sit here blogging, it is because I have frustratedly closed my writing session in the realization that I need to outline this more to have it flow. I might even need to call in my editor for a dish session on this as my ideas are there yet jumbled.
My characters are yelling at me to hurry up, and with good cause.
The moral here is this:
Writers do not usually tend to be on seasonal schedules. We write-not because we want to, but because we have to. It is what drives us, and eventually drives us right off the deep end.
So-back to my evil lab and my chalk screeching on the black board with diabolical geometry and such to figure out the formula for this ending to be nothing short of spectacular.
Thank you all who follow, and share in my madness. You are my glimpse into reality-when I am able to look up. 🙂
Ok, so I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix lately, and I am hooked on these ghost shows. I think 98% of them are completely set up, but there are some that I think, “OK,maybe.” I like to see, whether it’s set up or not, the types of activity that happens.
As I have stated before in interviews, I have always had experiences with the paranormal. I can’t remember a time when there wasn’t something going on. It never mattered where I lived, the entities would either follow me or I’d continually gain new ones. So I like to compare my experiences with those on these shows.
In my experiences, I have learned a thing or two on how to deal with feisty spirits. Some are harder to get through to than others, but I have never personally been ‘under attack’ because I have never let things get out of hand. I am in control of my home, not some lost soul.
My belief system is such that I don’t personally believe in religion, or “god”. I have experienced enough to believe that we are all a part of the energy of the universe, but as far as some judgemental being in the sky that decides if we are granted eternal bliss or damnation-pfft! Please.
Also, the communication I have experienced with spirits is such that it backs up what I believe. This is why it boggles me that people use exorcism and blessings to get rid of ghosts. Now I think that the living person who believes in that is subjecting themselves to some sort of comfort because if it, and that is totally understandable. Maybe the ghosts who are being exorcised or asked to leave in the name of the lord once believed in that too so they respond to that.
I don’t knock what other people believe, but with my beliefs it just seems odd to me that these things ‘work’ or at least make the afflicted believe that they did.